Friendships

First, a little background. My wife of 51 years and I graduated in the same year in the same class at the same high school. We were "high school sweethearts", although that following Summer proved that the "sweetheart" phase was a little premature.... but I digress.

A little more background info. I consider anyone who I meet and have a conversation with a close friend. I may not know everything about you (although I do learn a lot in any conversation cause I ask questions), but I consider you a close friend nevertheless. My spouse, on the other hand, has had very few close friends in her life. She is picky about who she considers a close friend and they remain close friends for life. Even after death, the close friendship remains. We have always understood our approach to friendship, even though neither of us understand the other's mindset on the subject....

We just returned from our 55th high school reunion. I honestly didn't think I would live to be 55, let alone attend my 55th high school reunion, but here we are.

We have not missed a reunion since we graduated. It does make it much easier when both parties graduate together and know the same people. No embarrassing stories that the other doesn't already know. No embarrassing introductions to people that the spouse could care less about. No long pauses as you try to remember someone's name or face while your spouse is clueless. And especially no whining from a spouse who has no interest in a class reunion that they weren't a part of and have no friends from. Yeah, it's nice to have my partner in crime along with me at these reunions......

We both had our circle of friends, but we have an even larger circle of common friends. We were both in the band, so we have our band friends. That's a large group, even at 55 years. They are the friends who can reminisce about the band leader, the hours of practice, the drum major stories, and the instruments long forgotten in a far away closet. These are friends who never go away, no matter the time between reunions. These are long-term friends. Even my wife considers them friends....

Then we have our friends from classes we took or from gym or from hanging out. These are people we have met in our journey through high school who have proven "friend-worthy". They have not caused us to "unfriend" them in life. They remain on our lists of friends. Again, they don't make my wife's list of close friends, but friends nevertheless.

There are also those in anyone's life who are "acquaintances". These are people who are known to an individual, but may not be trusted with their lives or children. These are people who may not have a "friend background" on which to base a friendship, but who are worthy of a "hello" or a "how you doin'". These are much more likely to be my friend than my wife's due to our aforementioned approach to friendship. These are people who decrease in number as the years and reunions increase. As years pass and fewer classmates are around to be greeted at reunions, everyone gets closer. Everyone gets to know more about everyone else. More of life's journey is shared. Closeness is developed because of shared pains, mistakes, children and grandchildren, and circumstances.

Years are levelling. The cliques of high school are forgotten. The popular kids and the not-so-popular kids have become friends. It is a beautiful happening and it is a wonderful thing to witness and experience. I personally wish I could tell every current high school student not to worry about what's happening today. Enjoy your high school years. Make friends where you can and don't worry about those who can't or won't be friendly in return. The years will level the playing field. Years will erase many bad memories and replace them with recent great ones. Once mortal enemies will become lifelong friends. Enjoy the journey and march with your own band. Listen to the Great Drummer and follow His leading. The journey will take care of itself.....

Those are my thoughts. Please share yours.